The Gardener Mentor

The Gardener Mentor7 tips to make your trees grow faster

Irene Morrione

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How many of you had a little nice cute plant that was supposed to become an healthy and big tree and istead died ? Maybe you forgot to give the water or you gave it too much, maybe it was attacked by an insect or it didnt survive the winter. Maybe some of you are thinking right now, oh yes, thats not for me i dont have a green thumb. Good news is that gardenering skills can be trained as much as mentoring skills can.

In this session you will discover something more about your qualities as gardener mentor, you will see different mentoring styles and you will learn some tips to make your plants grow faster and healthy.Thats not going to be a two hours monologue but I will ask your active partecipation starting from now. Whats your definition of mentoring, lets have a 7 minutes discussion at your table to find a sentence that defines the mentoring process

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What is your definition of MENTORING ?

7 minutes

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Ok someone want to share? As you can see there could be many different definitions. I really like the one from the Oxford school of coaching and mentoring2

"Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own learning in order that they may maximise their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be.

Eric Parsloe, The Oxford School of Coaching & Mentoring

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According to this definition mentoring is about helping people to become what they already are. These leads us to the first thing every gardener has to do before planting wich is3

1Recognize the different seeds for what they are

2See the oak when it is just an acorn

3Take care of the roots

BEFORE PLANTING

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Recognize the different seeds. Each plant comes from a different seed. If you are a lemon tree and your mentee is a pine seed you dont have to try to make him or her be a lemon tree. You have to recongnize the different seeds for what they are and help them becoming what they already are

Then a seed cannot imagine itself as a plant or a tree but you can. One of the most important duty of a mentor is seeing potential in their menteeso as a mentor, you have to see the oak whent it is just an acorn

Another important tip befor planting is taking care of the roots. They should be healthy and totaly covered when you plant. Every good gardener knows this. But what are the roots of a person. A model of the human being by Robert Dilts can help in understanding this4

MissionValuesIdentityBeliefsCompetencesBehaviourEnvironment

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The tree represents the person. The roots are made up of his missio and his identity. Mision his the purpose of his her life and the identity that took shape during the first years of life, this is something very stable in the person.Then there is the trunk which holds a person values and beliefs. This is what is really important for the person, the values that drive his her life. Then you find the competences which are the branches And the leaves represent person behaviour that is easier to change than beliefs and values. Then a plant lives within its environment

The interesting part of this model is that the lower levels effect the higher ones. Lets give a simple example. A person needs to develop his analytical skills, but he strongly believe that too analytical people are very boring or he thinks to be a very creative person and creative people cannot be analyticalthis beliefs are preventing him from developing analytical skills. Its like if you think you are tone deaf you would not easily learn to sing

So the mentor doesnt look just at the competencece level in order to devolop new behaviour but he look at the deeper level of the person making him aware of what is holding him back

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How mentors coltivate their plants

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Now we are going to watch some movie clips and you will notice that all these mentors example are focused on the deeper levels fo their mentees. Also Id like you to take notes about what are the qualities and skills of this mentors are using

Who wants to share?

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Treatments

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Mentors skills can be grouped in 4 big categories. In gardenering these could be the treatments , the fertilizer we give to our plants. And every plant, if you have ever been a gardener, needs different fertilizer or tratment according to his characteristics, to the season

Those are

Im sure in your life you had someone who inspired you , who mitivated, chalenged or thought you. I invite you to take some minutes to write it down two of these name and for each of them two qualities you really admired7

1. Think of two very important people in your life (role models)

2. Write three qualities you admire in them

3. Share with the group

10 minutes

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Ok, someoine want to share just the qualities he found?The good news is that we cannot see or recognize anything in others that is not already inside of us . So this qualities you admired are potentially inside of you and they will probably be your strengths as mentors.

Now from the movies and from your models you have a long list of mentoring skills and qualities and you have different mentoring styles and models . I think they all have something in common8

MentorMentee

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They are all focused on the person. I think this image really explains how a mentoring process works. While the mentee is compenetreted in his task or problem (which is the box) , the mentor is looking at him, how he she is using himself, her resources to solve the problem. The mentor is not looking at the problem with the mentee but is looking at the mentee who is looking at the problem.

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The big difference with a tutor for example is that a tutor is focused on the task, on the box. And the big differnce with a coach is that the coach doesnt have to know what is inside the box, he is not a content expert, instead the mentor have to know how to solve the problem, but he is also a process expert and his attention is on the person more than on the box

All of this is about how to cultivate your plants in order to make them grow health. So lets go back to our gardener. We can summarize this . In last 3 tips10

4 Listen to your plant

5Respect seasons and timing

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Choose the right treatment

CULTIVATING

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The very silmple one is listen to your plant. What does she really need to grow? Sometimes we think mentoring is about talkin, telling stories , etc. Instead is more about listening. During a session you should listen for the 80% of your time and talking for the 20% not viceversa

Then gardeners knows that each plant needs to be pruned in different way or in different season Sometimes you will see a big growyh potential and you could be imapatient to make her grow but maybe it is not the right timing for her

And the last one is choose the right treatment. As a mentor you can teach, inspire, motivate and challenge. You have to carefully choose what to do based on what your plant needs in that particular moment or situation. You have to use the right mix for the right person at the right time

And then ther is the last tip that is11

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QUEST I ON

What are three important reasons to become a mentor?

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I really like this word in English because it also means the quest I on. Mentors are always on some quest. And questions are a little bit like seeds A powerful question is like a seed that stays in our mind and someday you will see that a litle plant is growing up from itThere are some basic questions for a mentor: do I really want to become a gardener? Whats in it for me? Why should I invest my time learning how to do all of this? whats the value for me in making others grow?

So you have a postcard I invite you to write on it the answer to this simple question. What are three important reasons to become a mentor?In three months we will send this postcard to you and you will remember that today we planted your seed to become the mentor you want to be.

Thank you12

Thank you

Irene MorrioneIrene.morrione@gmail.com

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