assange's 40th wing-ding * nimrod kamer * 7/2011

8/6/2019 Assange's 40th Wing-Ding * Nimrod Kamer * 7/2011

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Assange's 40th Wing-Ding Nimrod Kamer

Brad Pitt, his wife, Al Gore, Oprah Winfrey and a bunch of other A-listers were

invited to Julian Assange's bday bash last Sunday. None of them showed up,

in what turned out to be a no-donors-overly-hyped Suffolk soiree. It is most

unfortunate first and foremost to Assange's depleting bank account. To the

defense of the invitees, neither Gore nor Winfrey, although "liberals", ever

claimed alliance with Wikileaks or the person in question.

It was a bit klutzy, as if Ed Miliband invited Blair to his knot tying without first

asking if he's into him. "Is Assange really 40?" some of the guests queried,

pointing out he looks much younger and vigor, ready to handle an even

greater leak, if only it wasnt for that sex(t)ing-while-sleeping rape charge he's

facing back home in Scandinavia.

The affair took place outside a 10 bedroom farm-house, not far from Bungayand Diss, where the whistleblower is staying on expanse of the Smith family,

Vaughan and Pranvera Smith, who also run Frontline, a 5,000 lifetime

membership journalists club. Assange's driver stated he's positive those

Smiths's got something to do with W H Smith. I found no evidence to that.

Soon upon arriving I noticed Julian, already perched, settled and stewed

center staged on a round table inside a tent they've built on the front lawn.

He was num, letting a few pettish, peevishly overly-proud-of-him women

literally shout his praise on the microphone. At one point they pleaded all

guests to say 'Hooray' for what Julian did, times three. "It's funny how

reactionary idols must always endure those oldfangled would-be activists.." a

girl next to me noted. Assange's new lawyer stood aside too, glancing,

gorgeous as she was, along with two HBO executives planning to make a 'TV

drama or mini serious' based on the man's escapades.


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One other individual, looking more doughy and feeble than Assange, was said

to be his ghostwriter. Just like in Polanski's film, the chap carried out as

someone waiting for a GPS fixed SUV to relegate him anywhere, as long as it's

Gatwick. A week ago it was learned the memoir jotted down in name of

Assange, which the writer swore not to leak, will never be printed. Julian

called off the 850,000 deal quite abruptly, no one knows why, subsequent to

taking an advance from Canongate Books.

Next, a debutant named Jemima Khan debuted the premises. For a short

while it was as if everyone were perplexed, not be to witnessing an activist

but an actual Independent associate editor with a sound check book. It thenstruck me a bit odd, the whole 'Wikileaks in dire need of donations' thing. A)

One never heard of any Wikileaks members in existence other than JA. B) It

didnt seem like the Smiths "freedom of info" types as they were, and loaded

with cash, will ever refuse to endorsement. Having said that, it's obvious

Julian would face much harder time getting money whilst in Sweden, the

equivalent of daytime prison for him. (Sun never sets wise).

I then discovered that a different kind of guest, priceless (and missing). His

name: Slavoj iek, the Slovenian philosopher and one of Assange's closest

pals. On July 2nd the two eBayed lunch with themselves at the Ivy, only to get

a few thousand quid per person in return. Not only that, all eight winners

came from the same consulting firm. Assange must've wanted to hang himself

right there just out of yawn.

In any case, appeased by those who did come, wearing an all white endless-

vacation suite and rampant hairdo, birthday boy seemed gleeful, some would

say not waving but drowning, but still very much gratified. Two satin-gowned

girls running around gave it the feel of a proper summer wedding after-all.

From a distance I wished him 'many happy returns'. He seemed transfixed,

swiveled at me while omitting to nod.


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It is also in need of mentioning, that after disclosing to several blokes of a

dream I had, in which Rebekha Brooks is portrayed by Jemima Khan and firing

me from NotW, an organizer came up to inform me that since Mr. iek, my

alleged acquaintance, did not arrive, I dont have any reason for staying. I

nodded docilely and led myself out. Tried to catch Julian's sleepy-eye one last

time, thinking only a true heroine will pretend to doubt his admires.

@nnimrodd \ 10.7.2011
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assange's 40th wing-ding * nimrod kamer * 7/2011

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